How can I help my husband to stop leaving his stuff around the house?
My husband leaves his socks, shoes, candy wrappers, sunflower seeds, work papers, blankets, etc. whereever he was using them in the house! He leaves stuff in each room, including the bathroom and kitchen! We talked about it several times, and I've even tried leaving it there and asking him to put it up (like training a child), but nothing works. How can I get him to stop messing up the house before kids come????
what you do is start picking them up and putting all in a plastic trash bag..you got to do this any ways cause he wont…and just store them someplace where he cant find them…do this every day till her runs out of cloths and if its work related he will miss it…but you have got to take some drastic measures here…just tell him up front all stuff you pick up is going in the garbage from now on so if its laying around its garbage and going out…and when he goes to looking for things and cant find them and needs them he will take better care of his stuff…you've mommyed him to long…or when its time to eat do him like parents do their kids its time to eat but we ain't eating till all the messes are picked up..better one yet no sex unless house is clean…try that one first lol//// good lluck/
June 1st, 2009 at 1:25 am
When you find an answer Please let us know!
My husband is the reason I have my children help straighten up and pick up after themselves.
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June 1st, 2009 at 1:38 am
I don't think you can change that. We just love to do these things
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June 1st, 2009 at 2:24 am
just stop picking up after him, Are you his maid?
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June 1st, 2009 at 2:56 am
haha- if you figure it out- please post. I'm sure he's been like that his whole life- you can only ever ever ever so slowly change him and it'll just be a little change.
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June 1st, 2009 at 3:21 am
Not a whole lot you can do. My hubby did the same thing and I tried the leave it where it is. If you dont unroll your socks they will be washed unrolled so they will not get cleaned, if you want something washed it better be in the laundry basket or it will not get washed, leave your candy wrappers around and I wont buy any for you to leave around, dont put your dish up and it will not get washed and hell run out of dishes (I'd wash mine) and all this worked. He now does everything that he wouldn't before. But some guys just will not change.
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June 1st, 2009 at 4:01 am
Here is what I did and it works…
He was leaving his dirty things on the floor and then when he wanted a clean shirt he did not have one!
I told him that if he wanted clean things to wear…than he had to place them in the hamper.
As far as trash, leave it and then when he can no longer walk through it or needs a clean plate…it is his fault.
He will learn..mine did when his parents came over and saw the mess! LOL He cleaned up in a hurry.
Blessings
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June 1st, 2009 at 4:34 am
hmmm good question. dunno. once an adult gets into such a habit. particulary a man who doesnt pick up after himself.
put a box in each room for his things that belong in those rooms.
get a maid. you shouldnt be his mother to train him. he will only become agitated with you. truly! get a maid.
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June 1st, 2009 at 4:51 am
he has to want to do it, b/f anything will change. If he thinks he doesn't need to, or it's "your job" for some reason, nothing you do would change that.
find out his reasoning behind why he doesn't pick up after himself. This is something the 2 of you can talk about w/out you accusing him, or making him feel childish.
If he does want to change, you could either point out stuff he needs to pick up, like you were mentioning, or move everything to something that's *his* space, such as his side of the bed (has to clean it up b/f going to bed) or his computer.
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June 1st, 2009 at 5:27 am
get use to it it's part of being married my wife said she said suck it up
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June 1st, 2009 at 6:16 am
what you do is start picking them up and putting all in a plastic trash bag..you got to do this any ways cause he wont…and just store them someplace where he cant find them…do this every day till her runs out of cloths and if its work related he will miss it…but you have got to take some drastic measures here…just tell him up front all stuff you pick up is going in the garbage from now on so if its laying around its garbage and going out…and when he goes to looking for things and cant find them and needs them he will take better care of his stuff…you've mommyed him to long…or when its time to eat do him like parents do their kids its time to eat but we ain't eating till all the messes are picked up..better one yet no sex unless house is clean…try that one first lol//// good lluck/
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June 1st, 2009 at 6:52 am
we only live to serve your highness
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June 1st, 2009 at 7:14 am
Wow, amazing another man that does this. I thought mine was the only one. HA HA NOT!! there PIGS aren't they. When I first met my husband at the time "Boyfriend" his apartment you couldn't walk into it. I told him "I will not go in your apartment looking like ti does" Sure enough, he cleaned it up. Then we moved in together after we got married into my trailer i meant he moved in, and now he only leaves cabinets open sometimes, he is usually pretty good about putting his dishes away, his desk is usually a mess but i just ask him to clean it up and it takes 1-2 weeks but he does it. I just repeat repeat.I WILL NOT do it for him. He has ONE drawer that is a SLOB but i dont care cuz its always closed
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Have fun
June 1st, 2009 at 7:50 am
Show him the movie "Cool Hand Luke" and tell him that if he doesn't get HIS mind right, you're going to do something MUCH worse that "put him back in the box."
The horrible thing you do is create a web page with videos of him, photos of his messes, audio clips of his lame excuses, and so on … and send a link to his buddies, his family, his co-workers, and so on. Post some hard copies at his favorite tavern or pass them around at church. Update weekly.
If this kinder, gentler way doesn't work — or you've had it with playing nice — tell him that you're no longer dealing with his passive aggressive bullshit and lock him in the garage. Supply him with cot, sleeping bag, micro fridge, bucket, and banish him from the realm of the clean. Prohibit unsupervised visits. No housekey. (That was one reason you did the photos &/or website first — so that buddies and family would less sympathetic to letting him move into THEIR house.)
Cancel all non-essential household activity (including romance) until he has his own entrance, his own bathroom, and a tiny food prep area. How this gets done and paid for is HIS problem. Maybe he eats macaroni while everyone else dines on pork chops or stays home while everyone else goes bowling.
These my sound like crazy mean things to do over "something as trivial as housework" but an amazing number relationships end over that sort of trivia. If you really want to save the marriage, you two need seperate,not shared, space.
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